Over and over I hear young women say that they want the perfect man!!! A man that will respect, honor and cherish them. Immediately a picture is formed in my mind’s eye of what they are actually saying versus what they are verbalizing.
Here is what I am hearing. As a Christian woman I need a man who will:
- Love me
- Respect me
- Protect me
- Provide for me
- Make me feel secure
- Honor Me
- Be a good father to my children
But what is being displayed in most women’s actions appear to be conditional if:
- I can do what I want to do
- You buy me what I want so I can win, competitively
- I don’t have to answer to you
- You are not my father, don’t tell me what to do
- I can psychologically control, manipulate and regulate you, based on my insecurities
- I can you my looks and body to control and manipulate our relationship
- And…………..I can talk to yo any way I want!
Many women fail to realize that our commitment to be modest and honorable is unto God an our husbands as well. Men can’t honor what they can’t feel comfortable with, therefore the respect is downplayed against self-protection. Men are funny and when women make them feel insecure based on how they dress, communicate, or the manner in which they conduct themselves, men act in reverse of what women are hoping to get! This is what I have learned from my husband who is full of testosterone.
My husband will do anything for me, my family and his tribe if I:
- Am respectable, the way he can comprehend – this is based on his culture, and what I think is subject to his need first. God knows this is hard for me. I am my Mom’s baby, my grammy’s favorite and they did everything for me, any time!!!!! And after all I am special 🙂 LOL!!!
- Ask him in a certain way, with a certain tone – Ok, I know he has been out of work for 2 months. It does not matter. He is still the priest of the home and your life. GET IT. He’ll get a job if you empower him; OK?
- Consult with him as if he is the leader of our family – Practice make perfect and becomes normal. Check your tone! You are not his mother, even if it feels like you are. He would never sleep with his Mom, OK!
- Put him above all others – He then steps up to the plate consistently because he is aware of my/your needs………………
- Pray for him continually. God told us to do this.
- Do not disrespect him or embarrass him, ever. You can disrespect a person with your body language, your secret ways, even in the way you ignore him. I know you have done that before. You know when you hid that bag in the trunk of your trunk and acted like it wasn’t there or that purchase was no big deal 🙂
- Open up and make your hubby your best friend. It will make a huge difference.
How many times has my husband checked me on my dress — Eyes rolling and me saying sarcastically, that the brothers needed to see God and never mind what I was wearing while I brushed myself a high 5 knowing I looked good to myself! MERCY!!! I needed a change!!!! Confession – As I get a little older I still want to look cute but I don’t need negative attention. Not for myself or my family and neither do you!!!
Christian dress can be both stylish, yet modest. You do not have to look shabby to be a Christ centered woman. Below are some out-fits to consider for the up-coming fall season.
Perfect wardrobe staples:Knee and ankle length skirts, suits, slacks or jackets in the following colors
- Black
- Brown
- Grey
- Blue
A great black A-Lined Dress that you can pair with a jacked, sweater, scarf and don’t forget to pin on a flower or dress pin in a contrasting color. You can match your purse and shoes for that special touch!
Sweaters and tunics in bright colors will compliment your staples and lend you that great pulled together look. If you are on a tight budget, THRIFT!!! I find some fabulous finds at my local thrift stores and check with friends, maybe you can start a wardrobe swap. Many people purchase items that don’t look so great on them but would you! So start a new trend!!!! Do a clothes swap and be frugal!!!
Slimmer look ~ Now if you have a tummy or are a size or two larger than you would like this is a cute look you could pull together to make you look smashing for any occasion.
- Animal print with a slimming look
Blue is royal and this shade looks great on just about anyone!
Now when you select your blouse, pick a color that will compliment your complexion without working your norms…………….I often am accused of wearing too much black so don’t be like me, look for pretty colors like melons and reds and make sure your lip gloss is in the right shade to compliment that pretty top! Keep flowers and pins to wear in the shade of your accessories (blouse – sweater). This small touch can work wonders for your wardrobe and help you work your staples marvelously!
Your eyes will pop if you pick a color that will brighten your eyes and smile.
Still a black and white combination!
Eyes – Naturals, you don’t have to sport ton of eye-shadow but if you brush a clean pallet of neutrals on your eyes after powdering your face or use a nice complexion perfect color or mineral make-up to freshen up your look and give you a more cleaned-up look!!!
There were new faces and church friends I see week after week. The nice
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